Variations on a theme
While writing Diary of Anne Ku and Bon Journal has been therapeutic, it's' not necessarily transparent to the outside world. The chronological arrangement allows me to track my progress. I can see that I'm no longer rushing around like a headless chicken, trying to catch the next flight. Compared to a year ago, I'm a lot more at peace.
Recently I decided to categorise my diary and journal entries, by subject themes. It's a boring and tedious process. And lo and behold, what do I find?
I write a lot about music, about playing and composing. Music is after all a very important part of my life. It's one of the things that's been continuous since my childhood.
I complain a lot. It's not a perfect world. My phone breaks down. My computer doesn't work. I get poor customer service. I'm sure everybody has experienced such things. But who else analyses and agonizes the way I do?
I write about writing. I write about work. I write about the stress of working. But now that I'm not working, I continue to write. Should work be defined as income-producing activity? I'm not so sure. I feel like I'm working when I'm doing something with a purpose.
I write about being single as well as being in all sorts of relationships: friendship, partnership, family, and reunions. We are social beings. No man is an island. And no woman either, for that matter. I can finally say that I don't mind being alone. In fact, I quite enjoy indulging in being by myself. I could hardly say that ten years ago. Back then, I was in the solitary confinement of doing my PhD. Perhaps I've trained myself to accept the silence and solitude of being alone.
But I love being with people too. I write about organising and preparing concerts. I write reviews about parties and other fun events.
Finally, I write about travel and travelling. As one of my readers wrote, "if you ever lose your job, you can always write about travelling on a shoestring." True, I can. But when you're not travelling, what do you write about?
I surprise myself what I can write about. I revisit old themes, but I try not to repeat. It may be a variation on an old theme, but like an old flame, it's never the same.
20 September 2002 Friday
Variations on a theme - diary entry 14 Nov 2000
on a theme - value at risk
Recommend this page to a friend: