Primer on Texas colloquialisms

courtesy of Bonnie and Gordon

also at 3 March 2001 diary entry

The White House is not just getting a new team, but a whole new language.

George W. Bush will be bringing with him many friends from Texas, and for anyone not born in the Lone Star State, the Texan accent and the cowboy colloquialisms can seem a bit strange.

Here is a guide to a few of the more colorful expressions they might encounter:

1. The engine's runnin' but ain't nobody driving = Not overly-intelligent

2. As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party (self-explanatory)

3. Tighter than bark on a tree = Not very generous

4. Big hat, no cattle = All talk and no action

5. We've howdied but we ain't shook yet = We've made a brief acquaintance, but not been formally introduced

6. He thinks the sun come up just to hear him crow = He has a pretty high opinion of himself

7. She's got tongue enough for 10 rows of teeth = That woman can talk

8. It's so dry the trees are bribin' the dogs = We really could use a little rain around here

9. Just because a chicken has wings doesn't mean it can fly = Appearances can be deceptive.

10. This ain't my first rodeo = I've been around awhile.

11. He looks like the dog's been keepin' him under the porch = Not the most handsome of men

12. They ate supper before they said grace = Living in sin

13. Time to paint your butt white and run with the antelope = Stop arguing and do as you're told

14. As full of wind as a corn-eating horse = Rather prone to boasting

15. You can put your boots in the oven, but that doesn't make them biscuits = You can say whatever you want about something, but that doesn't change what it is.

16. Yankees are kinda like hemoroids, they're not too bad when they come down and go back up, but they're a real pain in the butt when they come down and stay.