analytical Q May-Aug 2000 Sept-Dec 2000 Jan-Apr 2001 Discussion

The Diary
Anne Ku

25 March 2001 Sunday





There was a guy in high school who seemed interesting enough to get to know that I suggested he take me dancing. I dressed up and waited and waited. He never showed up. After being stood up once, I asked him again and repeated the scenario. He didn't show up either.

I didn't feel too bad about it because I wasn't crazy about him, just curious what he would be like on the dance floor. I must have not appeared serious in my suggestion - otherwise, he surely would have picked me up.

When I'm alone in a new place, I'm grateful to the thoughtfulness of locals who include me in their daily rituals. Whether it be weddings or birthday parties, being invited means I get to assimilate and belong. I could always decline the invitations because I'm busy, but never because I'm not interested.

My attitude about how strangers want to belong has made myself a host in many ways. As long as I feel "at home" in a place, I extend my invitation and try to include others. It's also very Chinese to include others as sharing is a form of communion.

So it is strange that I don't get a reply from this out-of-town visitor. It may be the last time I treat this person as a guest in my town. Surely a "no" is better than silence. I will just have to act like a host to people who want to be treated like guests, and reject others before they reject me!